Nano 2017 Lego Thing Part Seventeen
Catwoman, Ellie, Sherlock, and Natalia were flying around in the Batwing, awkwardly crammed together into a vehicle clearly designed to hold just one Batman.
“Yup, I see those idiots down there,” sat Catwoman. “It looks like they found the clowns that tried to attack me at the airpurrrt.”
“You like those cat puns, don’t you sweetie?,” asked Ellie.
“Yes I do.”
“Okay, what should we do?,” asked Natalia. “There’s a million buttons in here. Flying this thing was easy enough thanks to the computer, but I have no idea what these buttons do.”
“I deduce that we start to press the buttons! Pip pip!,” shouted Sherlock. “Certainly they are all tied to various gadgets, weapons, and terrifying bat-themed things that will no doubt bring justice to the clowny miscreants below!”
Catwoman glared a bit at Sherlock. “Okay, how about this one?,” asked Catwoman. She pressed a button labeled ejection, then pulled Ellie and Natalia away from the front of the cockpit, leaving Sherlock as the only Lego person fully in the seat.
“Capital ideaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…” shouted Sherlock, as he went whirling away into the air.
“Was that really necessary?,” asked Natalia. “Without the windscreen, it’s kind of cold in here.”
Catwoman nodded. “Totally necessary. He might be a good detective but right now it’s time for action, and I didn’t need him to decide which buttons we should press. Let’s get this done, ladies.”
—
“I don’t think so,” said the Clown with the Space Laser.
Robin was about to go into attack mode, when he suddenly stopped in his tracks and started looking around at the sky. This caused everyone else to wonder what he was hearing, smelling, or seeing…so they all started looking around.
“Hey look everyone, I know we’re about to do a cool action scene here…but I feel like I’m hearing a whoosh? Like a large engine whoosh? And now maybe there’s also a man screaming?”
“I think I hear the outside!,” shouted Frank Honey.
Lego Sherlock came tumbling down out of the air and crashed into the road in the middle of our three questionable heroes and the nefarious clowns. He popped apart into his various pieces, and his iconic hat rolled and came to rest at Robin’s feet. Robin leaned down and picked up the hat. Then he gasped.
“Oh my goodness!,” said Robin. “It seems I was hearing the rain, and that the rain is made up of famous fictional detectives! Fear not, character I only recently met. I don’t have time to rebuild you right now, but I’ll take care of your hat!” Robin popped his hair out of the plastic socket on his head, and placed Sherlock’s hat there instead. He turned to Frank and Chase. “How do I look guys?”
Chase McCain shook his head.
“I think you look great!,” shouted Frank Honey.
“Alright!,” shouted Robin. “That’s what I like to hear! Now it’s time to take it to these clowns and—“
The Batwing swooped in gracefully from the air and switched to hover mode just above the ground. Natalia waved out from the open cockpit. “Hey guys, take cover!”
Chase responded immediately, flipping gracefully off the road and taking cover behind a small embankment. He looked over, expecting Frank and Robin to be next to him…but they were both standing in the middle of the road, waving up at Natalia.
“Hello!,” said Robin.
“Hello there Natalia!,” said Frank.
“You doofuses! Get off the road! We’re gonna press a bunch of these buttons and we don’t want you to blow up like Sherlock!”
“Well, maybe *you* don’t want that to happen…but I’m game either way,” said Catwoman.
Chase went running back up onto the road, grabbed one of Frank’s hands and one of Robin’s hands, and took them both off of the road and behind the embankment. “Okay ladies, have at them!,” shouted Chase.
Ellie, Catwoman, and Natalia each positioned themselves in front of one part of the massive button-filled console. The clown with the Space Laser gun finally decided he could do something, and fired a blue bolt up at the Batwing. It glanced right off the front of it and went spinning around in the air, and came careening back to the ground, where it made a ping sound and disappeared.
“Uh oh!,” shouted the clown. “Maybe we didn’t think this plan through guys.”
The three women began to assail the buttons with their plastic hook hands. The Lego Batwing shuddered in mid-air as various compartments opened and weapons deployed themselves, and all of them started to fire at once. The night sky lit up bright with various bolts, balls of fire, and laser beams. The ship shuddered back into a calm state after about 30 seconds, and the clowns were just a pile of parts.
Frank and the Sherlock-hatted Robin emerged from the embankment and started to jump up and down.
“Yay!,” said Frank Honey. “You guys did it! I had no idea that Batman’s vehicles were so…violent. But I guess it came in handy!”
Robin tried to put on his best Sherlock Holmes voice, but it mostly sounded identical to his regular voice. “I deduce that we successfully did the thing we were meant to do! I am a detective! Let’s get the laser gun!”
“We’ll land this and help you guys clean up the mess,” said Ellie. The Batwing swooped awkwardly around in a circle, and came down for a landing a few hundred feet away.
Sauron appeared in a flash of blue light, holding the Orb of Time.
“Egad!,” yelled Robin. “I deduce with the powers of my new hat that this is the guy we need to beat! If only the giant weapon-containing vehicle was still here!”
“Okay you big jerk,” yelled Chase. “You’re going down!”
Sauron looked around, and then ran over and grabbed the Space Laser gun. “Haha! I don’t think so! I’ve got the Laser Gun, which is rightfully mine since the first time we saw it in the story it was next to me inside of my cool volcano.”
“Hmm,” said Chase. “I guess that sort of makes sense.”
Catwoman came sprinting up the road like a cat. She pulled out her whip, and deftly grabbed the Space Laser gun away from Sauron. “Will you idiots stop talking and actually *do* something? No? Up to me then. Bye stupid helmet man.” Catwoman fired a bolt at Sauron and he fell to pieces. The orb of time rolled harmlessly away from him and landed at Frank Honey’s feet.
“Oooh! Candy!,” yelled Frank, picking up the orb.
“Impressive!,” said Chase to Catwoman. “You really know how to wield a Laser Gun!”
“It’s pretty easy,” said Catwoman. “You just blast stuff with it.”
Ellie and Natalia arrived at the site of the chaos. “Well, it looks like our work here is done,” said Ellie. “That was easy! Now all we have to do is take that orb back to the Batcave and make sure FRANK do NOT eat that!”
Frank Honey had the orb of time halfway into his mouth. “But it’s candy!”
—
Alfred walked into the Batcave, surprised to find Batman standing there looking at a robot holding a couple of orbs.
Batman didn’t notice Alfred had walked in, since the cave was so large and cavernous. “Okay Batman, think, what are you gonna tell the others when they come back and one of the robots is gone? We were so close to having all of these stupid orbs that are important for some reason I don’t understand, and—“
“Is everything alright sir?,” asked Alfred in his droll accent.
“Gah!,” shouted Lego Batman, jumping into the air and hitting imagined assailants. “Oh, Alfred, I didn’t see you there. Everything is fine. Great even. I definitely didn’t lose a robot or any orbs. That’s my official statement in case anyone asks you.”
“Ooooh. Okay, sir. I just came down to ask you if you wanted anything to eat. Also, a whole bunch of alarms started going off upstairs. I see that the Batmobile is missing?”
“What? No, oh no,” said Batman. “Definitely not missing. It’s uh. It’s out for service. We’ve got everything very much under control down here.”
“Hmmm,” said Alfred. “Okay then sir. Where’s Master Robin?”
“Robin?,” said Batman, folding his arms. “He’s uh. He’s out on a mission. And I don’t know who that is, never heard of him.”
—
Lego Galadriel suddenly became very distracted. She normally spent most of her days sitting in the forest, lost deep in thought. But something disturbed her thought-slumber. “Something is very very wrong, I feel it in the water. I smell it in the air. I sense it in…time? Oh no. Someone has the Lego Orb of Time, and is out there making millions of accidental copies of themselves. And it’s…it’s Sauron? Well this is no good at all. What to do. Do I use my incredible power to go and stop it? Or do I sit idly by in the forest and wait?”
Evil Lego Galadriel came walking in out of the woods. “I think you should do *both* sister. It would be fun! You could let some chaos ripple across time while you do nothing, then swoop in and save the day! You have experience with accidentally making clones of yourself with the Orb of Time, after all. I would know,” said Evil Galadriel with a wink.
“I told you not to bother me here!,” said Galadriel. “This is my place of sanctuary! Where I go to be alone and look at the trees and think deep thoughts and stuff!”
“Right right, very well then. Have fun with your boring thinking! I’m off to save the world! You’re welcome!” With that, Evil Galadriel snapped her fingers and disappeared in a flash of light.
“Hmm, she might be becoming too powerful. Very well, I suppose I should go and do something about this. And here I thought I was going to get to sit and brood all day. Ambrosias! Come! I have need of you!”
A Lego Dog came galloping out of the trees. His name was Ambrosias. You know, the one from Labyrinth.
Come on, it’s fun. Go with me here people!
